Found a Family
by crownedwithflame
Summary: The episode "Father's Day" from Sully's PoV. I've always seen him as kind of an emotional abyss, deep and unexplored, and I wanted to take the opportunity to delve into that; watching Ethan "play dad" with the Cooper kids seemed like the perfect chance. My first published fanfic, concrit much appreciated :)
1. Chapter 1

FaF-Chapter 1

The wolf and his human companion were very much in tune with each other, so when the stranger came riding slowly down the street on a sleek black horse, they reacted in tandem: the wolf growled and flattened his ears, and the man furrowed his brow in an obvious expression of mistrust. The pair watched intently as the stranger, dressed in fashionable but travel-worn clothes, rode up to the saloon, tethered his horse to the hitching post, and went inside. For reasons neither could express, both man and beast had a bad feeling about him.

After a time, the man rose from his crouch in a fluid motion, wiping his hands on the knees of his buckskin pants. His Indian beads and medicine pouch swayed gently against his chest as he walked up the street, past the saloon, and over the bridge to the small graveyard beside the church. It was Sunday, and he had a promise to keep. The wolf, accustomed to the man's routine, lay down and waited patiently at the gate as he entered and approached a pair of graves, those of a woman and child. Reverently he knelt before their crosses and bowed his head in silent prayer. _I miss ya, Abby...Hanna, my lil girl, I wanted ta be yer pa more'n anythin..._ He'd long ago stopped crying for them, having made peace with their deaths; there was only a dull ache inside, an empty silent space in his chest where something seemed to be missing. Most days the pain was next to nothing, but on Sundays it was especially rough.

The man was startled from his sad reverie by the pealing of the church bell and the chatter of townsfolk; services had ended and people were gathering in the meadow for their customary picnics afterward. Not being a very social person, it didn't really matter to him. He would join in if invited, to be polite, but that had only been happening recently with Dr Mike and the kids...

Before he realized it he was on his feet, running a hand through his mop of sun-bleached brown hair and scanning the crowd. Even from this distance his keen blue eyes could clearly make out faces; he could sometimes even read lips and follow conversations, a useful skill that he tried not to employ too often. He couldn't always help himself though, especially around certain people. People he found himself caring for a lot more than he was willing to admit, especially to his own self.

A glint of copper caught his eye and a small sigh escaped his lips. He'd recognize that hair anywhere, especially as it was now, falling down her back in loose waves. It was one of the first things he'd noticed about her, drawn him to her. Abagail's hair had been pretty, black and shiny like wet ink, but he'd _never_ seen a lady's hair quite the color of Dr Mike's. Not for the first time, he wondered if those long reddish brown tresses would feel as soft as they looked, sliding through his fingers...

The sharp pang of guilt brought him back to his senses. He felt a cold wetness in his palm and looked down to see his wolf nosing his hand; he realized with some alarm that he was walking out of the graveyard and making a beeline for the subject of his daydream. He forced himself to stop moving but his eyes still sought her face, and it pained him that she looked troubled. She was speaking with another townswoman, Emily he thought her name was, and he was able to catch just a few words: "quilting circle," "find time," "vaccinations." Then Emily walked away and Dr Mike remained standing on the bridge, her delicate brow furrowed in frustration; he could almost see that incredible mind of hers hard at work. _Probably_ _too_ _hard_ , he chuckled to himself. She was always thinking about _something_ , a patient or an article she'd read in her medical journal, the discussion at the last town meeting or the kids...idly he wondered if she ever thought about _him_ at all, as someone other than her landlord, anyway...Suddenly she smiled, and it was like a sunbeam on her face. He followed her gaze to where the children were playing with their friends, and he couldn't help but smile as well. _Of course she's watchin em, she's such a good ma to em. Couldn't love em more if she'd given birth to em herself._

A sudden white-hot anger possessed him, burning through every fiber of his being, and a strange voice inside his head began to rage at him. _And what about_ _Abagail_ _?_ it roared, making him clutch the sides of his head in pain. _Wouldn't_ _she_ _have been a good ma to_ _your_ _child? Only_ _she_ _never got the chance. No, she and your_ _daughter_ _are lying cold in the ground just steps away while_ _you_ _stand here thinking about another_ _woman_ _, another_ _family_ _! What is_ _wrong_ _with you!?_

And then his pain disappeared as another voice spoke, small but strong and clear as a bell, as full of hope and promise as the other was of ire and fury. It said simply, _Nothing_ _..._

He reeled as vivid images swam before his eyes, a torrent of memories all focused on one person. The first time he saw _her_ , half covered in mud, looking like a bedraggled butterfly; seeing _her_ face to face at last in the mercantile, looking into the most unusual eyes he'd ever seen—one was the rich brown of freshly turned earth, the other a soft green that made him think of sunlight on oak leaves—and finding not a trace of fear despite his well-aimed tomahawk landing just inches from her beautiful face; offering _her_ his homestead and then beating a hasty retreat once she'd accepted, hoping she wouldn't pick up on his nervousness tinged with excitement at the idea of her living in his house; the night he brought Chief Black Kettle to _her_ and she saved his life, and then afterward they sat close together at the table and spoke in near whispers, and he fidgeted with his tomahawk to keep himself from touching her hand; feeling strangely proud when Black Kettle named _her_ "Medicine Woman"; Christmas Eve dinner with _her_ and the children, she was simply radiant, how she smiled when he gave her the new shingle he'd made, and then taking his place beside her at the table, with the family, how right it felt; caring for _her_ when she fell dangerously ill with the grippe, cradling her fevered body in Cloud Dancing's medicine wheel and stroking her face and praying to the spirits to _let her live, she's gotta live, nothin else matters if she don't live_...

And then her fever broke, and her eyes fluttered open...

And she whispered his name...

" _Sully_..."

And he heard his _heartsong_ for the first time...

His eyes shot open. He was standing just outside the graveyard, gripping the rickety white fence so hard his knuckles blanched. The wolf at his side whined, sensing something was off.

Sully drew a few ragged breaths, waiting for his heartbeat to slow to its normal rhythm. He looked down at his canine companion and managed a shaky grin. "Wolf, boy," he said, giving him a scritch behind the ears, "I'm thinkin we better go see Cloud Dancin. Spirits got a _lot_ to say today." _And maybe I oughta listen to em..._

As the pair loped off into the woods, the wolf was comforted but the human was still rattled. Sully had received visions from the spirits before, in dreams or when he prayed for them, but they had never actually _spoken_ to him. And the visions had never been so strong, so _real._ Shivering a little, he wondered just what kind of message the spirits were sending him.


	2. Chapter 2

FaF-Chapter 2

The next day, Sully found himself in town again. For the longest time he'd maintained a solitary lifestyle, only coming to the general store for basic supplies a few times a month if that. But ever since Dr Mike had come to Colorado Springs, his trips into town had become almost a daily event. And he couldn't convince himself that one had nothing to do with the other.

He hadn't been able to convince Cloud Dancing either. After recounting the voices and the visions, the medicine man merely chuckled and shook his head. "My brother," he'd gently chided, "you _know_ what the spirits are saying to you; I cannot help make it any clearer. Do not listen to the doubts in your mind. Your heart is sure, and it is that which you must follow." Sully had sighed, resigned; he'd expected such an answer. And as much as he hated to admit it, the wise Indian was right. He knew _exactly_ what the spirits were telling him. He just wasn't sure what to do about it.

As usual, Sully's casual stroll around town took him near the clinic, and he was pleased to see that the door was open, which meant that Dr Mike was there and not busy with a patient. But before he could come up with a reason for stopping in to see her, she came out onto the porch, closed the door behind her, and hurried to the telegraph/post office. Automatically he made to follow her, figuring she was picking up another shipment of medicines and might need a hand carrying it. But he stopped short of the doorway when he saw the man inside turn and greet her; his stomach lurched as he recognized the stranger from yesterday.

Observing them silently through the window, Sully bristled when the man took Dr Mike's hand and kissed it fondly. From what he could hear of their conversation, he surmised that she'd treated the fellow for some sort of head injury. He was pleased when Horace interrupted them to hand Dr Mike a large package, which wasn't medicine as he expected but apparently something for the Founders Day social coming up. When she turned to leave, Sully quickly ducked into the alleyway between the telegraph office and the clinic. He didn't want Dr Mike to know he'd been eavesdropping, and he knew she would pass right by him on her way back; he figured he could just casually "run into" her, offer to carry her package, they could talk a little...

He was stunned when she strolled by, the stranger close at her side with her package under his arm. She seemed to be enjoying his attentions; the tone of her voice was light, almost flirtatious. Sully couldn't pinpoint why that bothered him so much, or why he felt such a strong need to protect her from this man. He stepped out of the alley and followed them at a reasonable distance.

After placing her parcel in her wagon, Dr Mike and the stranger meandered to the barbershop where he'd hitched his horse. Several townsfolk, including Jake and Loren, were gathered around admiring the animal. Sully knew next to nothing about horses; he leaned on a post and glared at the well-dressed stranger as he spoke of being "temporarily short of funds" and offering to sell the beast, for the right price of course. The arrogance in his voice was grating on Sully's nerves, as was the way he kept looking at Dr Mike, his pale eyes roving over her body...

"What about you, sir?" The crowd suddenly laughed, and Sully realized the man was addressing him. But before he could respond, Dr Mike spoke up.

"He doesn't need a horse," she stated firmly.

Then Jake chimed in. "He can't ride."

The stranger was incredulous. "Any man's got two legs can ride!"

"Not Sully," Loren sniggered, jabbing a thumb in his direction.

"He's _scared_." Jake smirked, enjoying Sully's embarrassment. The crowd of townsfolk continued to snicker and poke fun.

Sully hit his breaking point. The laughing he could tolerate, even Jake and Loren's small-minded torments he could brush off. But the sad expression on Dr Mike's face, the _pity_ in her beautiful eyes, was just too much to bear. He couldn't have her feeling sorry for him. And he would _not_ be embarrassed by a complete stranger in front of her! His pride seized control.

Glaring around at the people jeering at him, one by one they fell silent as Sully stepped up to the so-called gentleman and fixed him with a look of contempt. "How much?"

Loren's mouth dropped open. Dr Mike's eyes widened. "Sully-" she started to protest, but at his look she quieted.

The stranger merely chuckled. "You want to buy my horse?"

"How much?" Sully repeated, his voice low and even.

"Thought you couldn't ride," the man sneered.

"Thought you needed money."

The stranger laughed and nodded. "Got me there, I reckon. Alright, Mister—Sully, is it? Let's talk some business." He untied the horse from the hitching post and headed in the direction of the livery. Sully gave the animal a wide berth and was careful to avoid Dr Mike's eyes.

/

It was late and Sully was tired, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep with so much on his mind. Sitting in his lean-to on the hill overlooking the homestead, he hugged his knees to his chest and stared into his small fire, thinking about the events of the day. Thanks to his wounded pride, he now owned a horse, quite possibly the most idiotic purchase he'd ever made. At least Robert E had been there to help negotiate a fair price, and he wasn't charging Sully for stabling the beast while he decided what to do with it. Maybe he'd just sell it, or give it to the Cooper kids as a present...

A wagon rattled up to the homestead and Sully was instantly on the alert. At this hour it could only be someone coming to fetch Dr Mike for an emergency, and that meant he would be keeping an eye on the children—unnoticed, of course. He banked his fire and crept quietly down the hill toward the house, watching the man who'd just climbed down from the wagon and walked up to the front door. There was something unsettlingly familiar about him...

Sully reached the back door of the cabin just as Colleen cried out, "Pa!" He froze, confused, but then the realization crashed into him: the man, the stranger, was their father. _Ethan Cooper_. Bile rose in his throat. He'd never met the man, but he'd known Charlotte and the kids long enough to see what his abandonment had done to them, and his first instinct was to charge in and break the deadbeat's nose. Now he understood why he'd had such a bad feeling about him from the moment he'd rode into town.

Silently, Sully slipped to the window and peered inside. Ethan was seated at the table like a king holding court, bestowing gifts upon the children. Brian and Colleen seemed quite happy to see him, but Matthew obviously was not; he stood stiffly by the fireplace, arms folded, keeping his distance. Sully reasoned that since he was the oldest, forced at a young age to become the man of the house, he probably had the most reason to resent their cad of a patriarch.

Their voices were muffled, and from his viewpoint he couldn't read anyone's lips clearly, but Sully could tell things were growing tense, especially when he saw Ethan holding what looked like a ship in a bottle. He wasn't sure what the man was trying to explain, but he had to smile when he distinctly heard Dr Mike berating him, asking why he'd come back after so long. Sully was thankful that Ethan's charms were apparently no longer working on her. He watched as she moved to put her arms around all three children in a protective stance, and his heart swelled with admiration and a kind of pride. Those kids were _hers_ , no question, and she would never let a lowlife like Ethan take them from her, father or no. They were a _family_ , and Sully had to admit he felt protective of them, though he knew he probably had no right. But they lived under his roof, so in a way they were his responsibility, and he wasn't about to let anything happen to any of them if he could help it.

Ethan departed shortly afterwards, alone; Sully was relieved that he hadn't talked any of the kids into going with him. He stood in the shadows and watched him leave, waited until he was long gone, before heading back up to his lean-to and resuming his vigil. His instincts, along with the tightening knot in his gut, told him that Ethan Cooper's sudden return to Colorado Springs did not bode well, for _anyone_.


	3. Chapter 3

FaF-Chapter 3

"Yeah, this here's a fine animal ya bought, Sully. Seems ta me it'd be a waste if ya didn't at least _try_ and ride 'im. Now whaddaya say?" Robert E cocked an eyebrow.

Sully shrugged nervously. He hadn't even planned on coming to the livery today; Brian had talked him into it, wanting to see Ethan's horse. Now the three of them were standing in the coolness of the huge stable, watching the large black animal as he calmly waited in his stall. He whickered softly and Sully took a step back.

Brian grinned toothily. "C'mon Sully, please? He's a nice horse, I bet he's real easy to ride."

Sully sighed, wishing he had the boy's confidence. "Alright."

Robert E smiled. "Good, good." He slapped Sully's shoulder affectionately. "Y'all go on out in the corral and I'll saddle 'im up and bring 'im to ya."

Sully and Brian went back outside, squinting in the sunshine. Brian started to scramble up the fencing and Sully gave him a boost, figuring he'd be safer up out of the way. "You hang on up here," he warned, not unkindly. "Yer ma'll kill me if ya fall off and hurt yerself."

Brian nodded, gripping the top rail. "It's kinda neat ya bought my pa's horse."

"Mm." Sully shrugged. In truth, if he'd known the horse was Ethan's, he never would have purchased the thing, no matter how much his pride stung him. The fact that he put money in that thief's pocket grated on him.

"Whyja buy 'im?" Brian went on. "I thought ya was scared of horses."

Sully forced a smile. "Decided it was time ta face my fear." He reached up and ruffled Brian's hair, making him giggle.

Robert E came out of the stables leading the horse, black and shiny in the sun like oil, bringing him to a halt in the center of the corral. Sully approached the animal cautiously, running a hand through his hair.

"Now don't show 'im yer scared," the blacksmith advised.

The horse snorted and Sully quickly backed up. "He knows."

"Make believe, Sully," Brian called from his perch. "That's what I do."

Fighting his nerves, Sully somehow managed to climb onto the horse's back. As he awkwardly settled into the saddle, he gave Brian a look of what he hoped was self-confidence.

"Take 'im over to the rail," the boy directed.

Sully attempted to steer the horse the right way, but the animal sensed his anxiety and grew skittish. Wanting the nervous rider off his back, he shied and bucked and fought, and Sully lost what little control he had; within seconds he found himself facedown in the corral. Spitting out a mouthful of dirt (or at least what he hoped was just dirt), he chanced a look up at Brian. The boy had covered his face when Sully fell but was now peeking around his hands. Grimacing, Sully sat up and dusted himself off.

Robert E had managed to calm the spooked horse and tether him to the fence, and he walked over and offered Sully a hand. "Y'alright? That was a pretty nasty fall ya took."

"Maybe y'oughta go see Ma," Brian suggested, "make sure nothin's broke." Robert E nodded in agreement.

"Nah, I'm alright." Sully stiffly got to his feet, making a mental note to brew himself some willow bark tea as soon as he could. "I think ridin lessons are over for today though."

Robert E chuckled. "Yeah, I 'magine yer right about that. Guess I'll put this big guy away then. Come gimme a hand, would ya? I wanna talk to ya 'bout somethin."

"Sure." As the blacksmith led the horse away, Sully went over to the fence. "C'mere Brian." He lifted the boy down, trying to ignore his sore muscles. "Why don't ya run to the store," he fished a few coins from his pouch, "and get yourself some candy, and I'll meet ya there in a minute?" No sooner had the word "candy" left his lips than Brian was off like a shot.

Sully entered the stables; Robert E had already secured the horse in his stall and was putting the saddle on its rack. He looked up at his friend's approach. "Where's Brian?"

"Sent him to the store to get candy."

The blacksmith laughed, mopping his brow with a rag. "Oh Lawd, I won't tell Dr Mike if you won't!"

"Wadn't plannin to," Sully chuckled. He knew she didn't approve of Brian eating too many sweets. "So what'd you wanna talk to me about?"

"Well, I was wonderin 'bout this here horse a' yours." Robert E walked over to the animal's stall and patted his nose. He noticed that Sully kept his distance. "You gonna keep 'im?"

"Mmm, not sure yet." Truthfully Sully had all but made up his mind to sell the horse, but the comment he'd made to Brian about facing his fear nagged at him. "Why, you want 'im?"

"Nah, not me." Robert E shook his head. "Sure is a beauty though. I 'magine someone'd be more'n happy to take him off yer hands." Sully nodded in agreement as the blacksmith removed his hat and swiped a thick arm across his forehead. "I gotta ask though," he went on, replacing his cap, "why'd ya buy 'im in the first place?"

Sully shook his head. "Pride, Robert E," he chuckled self-derisively. "Foolish pride."

His friend nodded knowingly. "That'll do it, every time." Then he stepped closer and lowered his voice. "And the fella ya bought him from, the man that was in here, now I heard tell that was Ethan Cooper. That true?"

Sully nodded, swallowing dryly. "I woulda never bought him if I'd known. I jus' found out yesterday who he was."

"Low down, schemin, good fer nothin..." Robert E muttered. "I heard plenty a' stories about that man, and none of 'em good. He really jus' up and left his fam'ly with nothin?"

"Mm-hmm," Sully confirmed sadly. "Charlotte and the kids had a rough time of it. I tried ta help 'em out the best I could, but..." He shrugged helplessly, remembering how the older woman had gently refused his money, insisting he keep it for his own family. A lump formed in his throat. _My family_...

"Ya think he came back ta take the kids?"

A feeling of dread washed over him. "I don't know, Robert E," he replied hoarsely, though he had to admit he could see no other reason for Ethan's showing up. "But Dr Mike made a promise to Charlotte, and she's gonna keep it. Those kids are _hers_ now, she's their ma, and she ain't gonna give em up. Ethan turned his back on 'em, he don't deserve to have 'em. He ain't fit ta be their pa."

Robert E couldn't help but smile. He knew how Sully felt about Dr Mike and the kids, and he was willing to bet that Ethan Cooper would wind up on the business end of a tomahawk if he tried taking those children. "Y'know, _you_ been a better pa to those kids than Ethan ever was." Sully started to protest, but he held up a hand and went on. "I mean it, now. Ya helped Charlotte out with 'em, and now yer helpin Dr Mike. Ya care fer that fam'ly like they y'own, and that's som'm special."

Sully shrugged modestly. "Sure I care for 'em, why not?" Helping take care of the kids just seemed like the right thing to do; he'd never expected or wanted praise for it. "They're livin in my homestead, least I can do is watch out for 'em, keep 'em safe..." _Like a father would_... "But I _ain't_ their pa, Robert E," he insisted.

"Well ya might as well be. The way they look up t'ya, listen t'ya. And Brian, ya know that boy _loves_ ya, more'n anythin. Even more'n candy." Robert E chuckled.

"Speakin a' which," Sully grinned, "I better make sure he's not eatin himself sick, or Dr Mike'll have my hide. I'll see ya later." He shook the blacksmith's hand and walked back out into the sunshine, letting it warm his skin as his friend's words had warmed his heart.


	4. Chapter 4

FaF-Ch 4

For once, Brian had managed to restrain himself around Loren's candy jars, and Sully was thankful that he wouldn't have to explain to Dr Mike why he was bringing her son home with a stomachache and no appetite for his supper. He appreciated that she trusted him with the kids and he would never want to do anything to jeopardize that.

The boy's mild sugar rush had worn off about halfway back to the homestead, and he was now dozing comfortably as Sully carried him on his back. It was a truly pretty day, and despite Brian's weight and his sore muscles he wasn't in any hurry, though he knew Dr Mike would be starting supper soon (under Colleen's supervision, of course). A thought came to him, and he grinned as he veered off the path and headed deeper into the woods.

A short time later, Sully reached his lean-to above the homestead; in addition to Brian on his back, he was also carrying two good-sized rabbits tied to his belt. He'd gotten quite lucky with his traps (and that Brian had stayed asleep while he recovered the game) and his mouth was watering at the thought of some hearty stew. Shifting the small boy's weight a little and trying to ignore the nagging ache in his lower back, he carefully started down the hill. As he drew closer to the house, he saw Matthew in the yard doing what appeared to be an awkward sort of waltz with an invisible partner, and a puzzled smile crept across his face.

He was startled when Brian yawned in his ear. "Sully? We home yet?"

He chuckled softly. "Yeah Bri, we're home." Kneeling so the boy could climb off his back, he untied the rabbits and handed them over. "Here, run these down to yer ma for supper."

Brian's sleepy eyes went wide. "Wow! Thanks Sully! We're sure gonna eat good tonight!" He slung them over his shoulder and they flopped against his back as he half skipped half ran the rest of the way down the hill; Sully couldn't help but grin at his excitement and energy. He flew past a startled Matthew and was in the house by the time Sully reached the yard. "Brian!" the young man scolded.

"Ah, don't blame him, he's just excited about the rabbits I got for supper." Matthew turned and smiled when he saw Sully; he offered his hand and the older man shook it, wincing slightly at the soreness in his shoulder. "Whatcha doin out here?"

Matthew's cheeks turned pink and he fidgeted self-consciously. "Just, uh, jus' fetchin some water for Dr Mike." He gestured to the bucket by the clothesline.

"Oh, is 'at all?" Sully teased. When he could, he always tried to treat Matthew as grown up; he was young, but mature for his age and responsible, and they had a good relationship. Sully was glad he'd stepped into his role as "man of the house," watching over the family when he couldn't.

Matthew grinned sheepishly, knowing he was caught, and quickly changed the subject. "Thanks for the rabbits, I ain't had a chance ta go fishin lately." With a smirk he added, "Hope Colleen's the one who gets 'em in the pot, 'cause the last time Dr Mike tried makin stew..." He rolled his eyes and they shared a laugh. It never failed to amaze Sully how the good doctor could be so skilled with her hands in the clinic but all thumbs in the kitchen. Not that he minded; on the contrary, it made her all the more endearing to him. The little furrow between her brows as she fretted over a recipe, that sad pout as she pulled yet another pan of burned biscuits out of the oven, it was so charming how hard she tried, and he would gladly eat buckets of stew no matter how bad it was just to make her happy.

Light laughter floated through the window, bringing Sully back to the present. "C'mon, let's go inside and get those rabbits cleaned up. Here, I'll get the water." He picked up the bucket, not expecting it to be already full, and sucked in a painful breath.

"You ok? What's wrong?" Matthew was immediately concerned.

"Ah, 's nothin." Sully rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the soreness. "Fell off a horse earlier." He twisted from side to side a little, rubbing at his lower back. "Didn't help that I carried yer brother halfway home."

Matthew chuckled knowingly, having done his share of hauling Brian around. "You should let Dr Mike have a look. She's probably got a salve or something she could put on it for ya."

Sully quickly shook his head, chasing away the all too pleasant thoughts of the doctor's delicate hands massaging his body. He felt his cheeks grow warm and hoped Matthew wouldn't notice. "Nah, it ain't that bad. Wouldn't say no ta some willow bark tea though." He smiled and moved to go in the house but Matthew stopped him.

"Wait," he blurted, then lowered his voice. "Pa's here."

Sully's stomach churned and he swallowed hard. "'S 'at right?"

"Been here all stinkin day." Matthew kicked at the dirt. "Braggin about his ship, how rich he's gonna be, actin like he knows so much, teachin Colleen how ta dance—it ain't _right_!" He raised his voice angrily at the last and Sully quickly shushed him, grasping his arm and pulling him away from the window.

"Shh, now, you don't want Brian and Colleen hearin ya talk that way, do ya? It'll just upset 'em." Sully led him into the barn and waited for him to settle down a little; the teenager could have quite a temper. "I know ya don't like havin Ethan here, I know you're upset with him for leavin-"

"I _hate_ him," Matthew growled through gritted teeth.

"But he _is_ your pa, and ya can't blame him for wantin ta see ya." Sully sighed, hardly believing he'd spoken in defense of the man. He knew how it felt though, a father missing his kids...

Matthew huffed skeptically. "If he wanted ta see us so bad, why'd he leave us in the first place? He only came back 'cause he heard about Ma dyin. But he didn't care about us when she was alive, so why should he care now?" He clenched his fists, his face taut, eyes blazing; Sully didn't think he'd ever seen the young man so angry. Evidently Ethan's return had stirred up some long-buried feelings of resentment. "He gave up on us, on our _family_ , a long time ago. Ma asked Dr Mike ta take care of us, not _him_. We don't need him around, lyin and pretendin everything's ok. Actin like he's a good _pa_." He spat the word out bitterly. "I don't trust him and I don't want him anywhere near my brother and sister."

"I understand." Sully nodded. "How do they feel about Ethan bein back?"

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Pfft, I can't believe how excited they are." He pulled a piece of hay from a bale and anxiously drew it through his fingers. "Colleen was always 'Pa's princess,' he never did _no_ wrong in her eyes," he sneered. "And Brian was wee little when he took off, he never really knew 'im. They were both so young, they never really understood. Never saw how bad it got for our ma. I was the only one..." His voice broke, remembering, and Sully could tell he was fighting back tears. He sniffled and then cleared his throat, composing himself. "I ain't gonna let him hurt us like that again," he vowed. "And I sure ain't lettin him take us anywhere."

"What?" Sully choked. Anxiety gripped his heart like a fist. "Wh-where would he take ya?"

Matthew shrugged, flinging the small piece of straw away. "He keeps talkin about San Francisco."

Sully was at a loss. Part of him was furious, wanted to storm into the house and confront Ethan, threaten him, but he knew that would just make matters worse. And anyway it wasn't his fight, the Coopers weren't his kids, he had no real say in their lives. But the thought of them leaving, of never seeing them again, made him ache deep inside, a dull sick pain he hadn't felt for some months... "Dr Mike would never let that happen," he stated firmly, as much for himself as for Matthew. "She made a promise to Charlotte that she would look after ya, and I know she won't break her word." He smiled briefly, thinking of the lovely doctor's integrity and selflessness and strength. _Courage of a warrior_. "Especially when it comes ta Ethan. I'm sure your ma told Dr Mike all about him, what he did, and she knows you all are better off right here with her. That man ain't fit ta be takin care a' you."

He hadn't meant to say the last part out loud; as much as he disliked Ethan, he knew it wasn't right to criticize him in front of his son. Meeting Matthew's gaze, he started to apologize, but the young man held up his hand. "No, you're right. He ain't fit to raise us, he never was. He ain't any kind of pa to us at all." His eyes shone with respect as he added, "But you are, Sully."

The mountain man felt like he'd had the wind knocked out of him. Speechless, he could only stare as Matthew went on. "You have been a better pa to us over the years, especially these past months, than Ethan was our entire lives." His voice grew strained with emotion. "I know you did what you could ta help Ma take care of us, even though she was too proud ta take yer money." He chuckled sadly. "But it was more than that. You were the one who taught me how to hunt, who took me and Brian fishin. You told us stories and taught us stuff, about nature, about right and wrong. You were there to protect Ma and Colleen, and you showed us how women should be treated, with kindness and respect. _You_ are the one who taught me how to be a man, Sully. A good man, just like you."

Sully was overwhelmed by Matthew's words. He had no idea that he'd had such a strong influence; tears stung his eyes and a lump rose in his throat as the young man continued. "And now you're helpin Dr Mike, bringin food and watchin out for us, and Brian's gonna grow up learnin from ya, and he'll be a good man too. He really looks up to ya, y'know." He suddenly grinned. "You 'member when we first came here ta stay with Dr Mike, and he ran away 'cause he wanted ta live with you and the Cheyenne? And then you climbed down into that ravine and rescued him? We had ta hear that story for weeks! Sully the hero!" Matthew laughed, recalling his brother's tale of adventure, and how his broken leg had, in the boy's mind, only added to the excitement. But then he grew serious. "Pa never woulda done that," he added darkly.

A smile had curled Sully's lips as well at the memory of that day, though he wasn't so much thinking of Brian as he was reliving the night before the search, in the teepee with Dr Mike...but his eyes widened in shock at Matthew's last statement. "What? 'Course he woulda," he insisted. As sleazy as Ethan was, he would surely come to the aid of his children if they were in trouble—wouldn't he?

Matthew shook his head. "No he wouldn't. He'd a' gone back ta town for help, and then prob'ly paid somebody else ta go down after Brian. He'd never a' done it himself." He regarded Sully with curiosity. "You though, ya didn't even hesitate. Jus' went right down there and got 'im."

Sully nodded. "'Course I did." It hadn't occurred to him to respond in any other way in that situation; someone needed help and he could provide it, so he did. That was just his nature, his instinct. He hadn't even thought of waiting for help from the Cheyenne or the other search party. He'd simply seen that Brian was in trouble, known that he could get to him and bring him to safety, and done so.

"But why? Why'd ya do it?"

Sully cocked an eyebrow at Matthew, not sure what he was asking. It was a strange question, with pretty simple answers: why did he rescue Brian? Because the boy was in danger, because he was able to, because Dr Mike had asked for his help...but he sensed the young man was seeking a deeper reason. And the truth was in his heart, though it was hard for him to admit. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "'Cause...'cause Brian's"- _like a son ta me?-_ -"special ta me. You all are. There's nothin I wouldn't do for any of ya. And as much as you think I've taught you, you guys have taught me stuff too. About myself, and what's important in life. If I'm a good man, it's 'cause a' you all."

The satisfied smile on Matthew's face indicated he'd gotten the answer he needed. He held out his hand, and when Sully took it he pulled him into a quick manly hug. Sully tried not to wince at the heartfelt embrace, but when Matthew lightly thumped his back he couldn't help the small grunt of pain that escaped his lips.

Matthew quickly stepped back, looking guilty. "Sorry."

"'S alright." Sully waved him off with a slightly tense smile. "Like I said, some willow bark tea and I'll be right as rain. I've got some up in my lean-to."

"Dr Mike would fix ya some," Matthew suggested, a lilt in his voice that seemed to hint at something. "I'm sure she'd want ya ta stay for dinner, seein as how you brought it and all."

Sully sighed. As much as he'd been looking forward to the stew (and the company), the thought of sharing a meal with Ethan Cooper made him lose his appetite. "Not tonight, sorry."

"Ya sure? She's gonna be disappointed."

 _So am I_. Sully could imagine the look in those unique eyes of hers. He hated letting her down. "I'll make it up to her—to all of you. Soon, alright?"

"Alright." Matthew nodded in understanding. He pushed the barn door open and they stepped out into the yard. Picking up the neglected water bucket, he sighed heavily, dreading going back inside. "See ya later."

"See ya Matthew." Sully watched him climb the porch stairs and enter the homestead, then turned and ambled up the hill to his little refuge. His pain had lessened somewhat, but he knew it would still be a restless night; the eldest Cooper sibling had given him a lot to think about.


End file.
